Our guest today is pretty famous. He’s very well-known as an author, he’s everywhere on FB and a few police stations would like a word with him too. I adore his humour and we regularly converse in fluent Weegie on-line so I was chuffed tae bits when he accepted my invitation to come and chat at the Bingergread Cottage. I just hope he isn’t into deep-fried small terrier!
Seumas, Big Man! Welcome. Sit yersel doon (no I better stop that – Cameron is hooting with laughter at me). Yer man there will get you a wee dram… Irn Bru? Yes we can do that… oh and look here, Cam likes you, he’s raided my private store of Tunnocks’ Caramel Wafers for you! No, Cam – five is quite enough thank you. Leave some for your darling Sis.
So, I know you are originally from Govan – where else have you lived in the world?
SG : Having exhausted the boundaries of sophistication a la Docklands Govan in Glasgow, the world became my whelk (oysters do my guts in, so no oyster). From Govan I moved to Tobermory in the Scottish Hebridean island of Mull as an apprentice banker. The basic business lesson was learned very quickly… ensure your customers give you back at least as much money as you lend them… everything else is coincidental. When I was told I had to transfer to another branch, I requested further North… and was promptly despatched due South to London (“ Oh, that North, Master Gallacher… aye, right!”).
Ten years of verbally assaulting English ears with the broad Glasgow accent led to a one-way ticket to the Far East. No, not Ipswich… Hong Kong. Twenty-five glorious years saw further passport stamps and residency visas for Singapore, Sydney, and Manila.
An invitation to Abu Dhabi for a month ten years ago has kinda ‘stretched out’ a wee bit. Still here in Kamel Kuntry.
I’m drooling with envy here. I’ve been to some of those places but only on Shell Tankers and for brief stays while we delivered oil – I would love to go and do what you did. So have you had many career-changes?
SG: Not really so many, a lot of engagements within the profession in Banking (before it equated with genocide and refusing to go shopping at Tesco) segued into being a corporate trouble-shooter (known in the trade as sh*t-fixer) covers most of it. I now have my own business doing turnarounds, reorganisation and restructuring of companies.
Living there, own company, sounds idyllic. How did you get into writing?
SG: Well, I thought if that wee Rowling lassie can do it… and yon Lee Child fella… it just ‘dawned’ on me one day about five years ago it ‘was time’ to do ‘that book’ we’re all supposed to have in us.
Why self published?
SG : Coz the bluudy traditional Publishing establishment didn’t accept my first masterpiece. Then it was either give up or front up. I’m glad I found Amazon Kindle and the social networks at the same time.
Falls over laughing Yes, I know that feeling. “Sod you, I’ll do it myself!” I’ve just bought your new book on self-publishing (Self-Publishing Steps To Successful Sales) and I can’t wait to read it. Although I’m lucky enough to be with a great publishing house (Crooked Cat) my one attempt at s/p was pretty tame and I’d like to do it again, like you, just to show I can. So, apart from writing what else do you like to do?
SG : At the weekends I transmogrify into a caricature couch potato watching English Premier League football on television (in Abu Dhabi we get most of the matches live). Most of the rest of the time I write and indulge the internet ‘work’ associated with being an independent self-publisher these days… LUVVIN IT!
Have you always been a joker? Do you think it goes with the nationality – is there something about being Scottish? People always say I’m the joker in the pack but you’ve got me beat.
SG : There’s something inherently survivalist about growing up in slum areas, and humour is great ammunition to combat life’s travails. Billy Connolly has been my comedic God for forty years. Anything nudging or overtly irreverent is much to be admired and embraced.
Couldn’t agree more. I love The Big Yin and Rab. C. Nesbitt – did you know that when it was first shown in England they had to put subtitles on it? Anything else you’d like to share?
SG : Just wanna say thanks for having me over at the Bingergread House. Can you act as a decoy for while and I’ll see if I can give the slip to the cops outside. Cheers Ailsa.
Nae bother! Cam – get out there and flash yer pretties at the nice polis!
Cheers, feller! Here is how you can get to know Seumas better :
Blog : seumasgallacher.com
Twitter : @seumasgallacher
Facebook : http://www.facebook.com/seumasgallacher
Email : email@example.com
Finally – a wee treat for Seumas and a reminder for those who may have forgotten the Big Yin – a bit of Billy Connolly for you … a whole Audience With Billy Connolly!