Pensioners in Car-Park Punch-Up

New nose stud

I promised you a surprise today but this was not IT. Yes, I got my nose pierced as a special reward for being a big, brave girl in the hospital but…


Having done that, I went to the same supermarket car-park where I got smashed into last November. Yet again, we were just going for a coffee. Having sent the Old Dude off to order it, I leaned on our car having a smoke so I was in an ideal situation to witness three pikey girls in a car run over his foot.


I remember very clearly thinking “Oh shit, here comes trouble” as he reacted in the prescribed ex-sailor manor by hefting a good kick at their car while informing them in fluent Anglo-Saxon what he thought of them.


It was when the driver got out and spat at him that I felt it was time for all good wives to come to the aid of the party and in my defence, I DID try to calm the situation down. Unfortunately this would have involved persuading elderly matelot to back off while I spoke to them.  This was obviously not going to happen once one of them had taken a swing at him and got arm-blocked and it turned very nasty. I am a peaceable person but watching a 75-year-old getting set on by three spitting, vicious gyppo late teens, early twenties is just not possible.


My efforts at defusing the situation verbally having failed I lost it when the driver said “Well he can still walk, can’t he?” as if that made everything alright. I’m ashamed to say that I whacked her in the mouth and asked her if she could still talk. She could – no harm done then, I quipped. No, it WAS very wrong of me.


I called the gendarmes and felt like saying “Here we all are again then, as one of them was the guy who attended me nearly getting my head stove in back in November.”


Statements were taken, even from people who had not been there at the time and I had got the old Feller slightly less likely to take someone’s eye out. We presented ourselves as reasonable people who don’t take kindly to being run over, spat at or having violence offered.


I’m torn between being sad that I couldn’t find a way of resolving it more peacefully and rocking around with laughter at the thought of us two OAPs toe to toe with teenage ladettes. I’m very pleased that I held back and didn’t do any real damage but I bet that young lady’s head is still spinning – do NOT mess with Granny, she doesn’t like it. She especially doesn’t like people messing with her Old Feller.


No, I shan’t be going for coffee there again.




22 thoughts on “Pensioners in Car-Park Punch-Up

  1. I am so jealous of the nose stud but am unbelievably impressed that you at least tried to calm things down. I would have been tempted to slap the silly bint FIRST then tr reasoning. You go girl! And I’d love to have seen Badger getting the one in an arm lock. Bet they didn’t expect such fiesty ‘victims’

    1. I could have resolved it peacefully with words but not with the Old Feller dancing up and down with rage. They didn’t know that he is ex-Navy and I could have used unarmed combat training if I wanted to. I am slightly pleased that I just smacked her in the mouth. But it would have been better to push him away to let me handle it.
      The nose stud I wanted for years but I awarded it to myself for “lumbar puncture virtue”.

  2. Good for you, Ailsa. I had a similar situation, but this was one sober, but mad guy in his 30’s, brimming with muscles and tats, but few brains. He wanted a fight in my local pub, but I wasn’t having any of it. He ended up being banned from all that breweries pubs in the county (and that’s most of the pubs in my area).
    Well done, kid. I wish I’d been there.

    1. Thanks, Sharkey. They were just silly, violent girls but I don’t want to go to prison for teaching them a lesson. Maybe next time they will think twice. They weren’t drunk -just “entitled”.

  3. We do realise, folks that I have lived in France for 22 years with a totally clean sheet at the police station and I may now get a criminal record for defending my Old Feller?

  4. You have more adventures than anyone I know but it would be a real shame to get a record for defending the old feller against those wee brats. And yay for the nose stud, I’ve had mine over 20 years now and never regretted it for a second.
    Hope all is currently calm 🙂

    1. At this moment I am allowing myself a glass of warm red from the South. I think Old Feller is wishing he’d reacted slightly less aggressively but on the whole we are OK. I must say – things happen when I’m around, ask anyone who has gone about with me for a day!

  5. Good for you!!! We try hard to piss off people in banks and councils, and not so physically, but the reasons are the same. Nose stud? Possibly not..though I’d love a few more tattoos.. xx

    1. I never meant to get physical – it was a fight or flight situation – tatts come next. Had a lovely chat with the guy who is fine with me getting a Celtic bracelet next – all Breton and twisted snakes

  6. What a situation! Hope you do not end up with a record, yet can’t help feeling what you did was totally justified – what ignorant, violent girls. I am not surprised tempers were raised. Congrats on the nose piercing, I love mine and have had it since I was a teen, would never be without it now!

  7. Good for you. A very unpleasant situation. But I like to think that we senior cits still have a bit of spunk in us. Not sure I’d have my nose pierced but, hey, it’s what does it for you.

    1. Thanks, Nessa. I just reacted. You do NOT mess with my Old Feller. He is old, diabetic and has cardiac problems and a fairly “hands-on” wife. Piercing – I wouldn’t have dreamed of a few years ago but am coming around to the idea very quickly – and tatts!

  8. Woohoo, you go girl! Maybe if more people hit back, these idiots would think twice before overstepping the mark. Older doesn’t mean more vulnerable. Hats off to you Ailsa, you gave them what for!

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