I promised you a surprise today but this was not IT. Yes, I got my nose pierced as a special reward for being a big, brave girl in the hospital but…
Having done that, I went to the same supermarket car-park where I got smashed into last November. Yet again, we were just going for a coffee. Having sent the Old Dude off to order it, I leaned on our car having a smoke so I was in an ideal situation to witness three pikey girls in a car run over his foot.
I remember very clearly thinking “Oh shit, here comes trouble” as he reacted in the prescribed ex-sailor manor by hefting a good kick at their car while informing them in fluent Anglo-Saxon what he thought of them.
It was when the driver got out and spat at him that I felt it was time for all good wives to come to the aid of the party and in my defence, I DID try to calm the situation down. Unfortunately this would have involved persuading elderly matelot to back off while I spoke to them. This was obviously not going to happen once one of them had taken a swing at him and got arm-blocked and it turned very nasty. I am a peaceable person but watching a 75-year-old getting set on by three spitting, vicious gyppo late teens, early twenties is just not possible.
My efforts at defusing the situation verbally having failed I lost it when the driver said “Well he can still walk, can’t he?” as if that made everything alright. I’m ashamed to say that I whacked her in the mouth and asked her if she could still talk. She could – no harm done then, I quipped. No, it WAS very wrong of me.
I called the gendarmes and felt like saying “Here we all are again then, as one of them was the guy who attended me nearly getting my head stove in back in November.”
Statements were taken, even from people who had not been there at the time and I had got the old Feller slightly less likely to take someone’s eye out. We presented ourselves as reasonable people who don’t take kindly to being run over, spat at or having violence offered.
I’m torn between being sad that I couldn’t find a way of resolving it more peacefully and rocking around with laughter at the thought of us two OAPs toe to toe with teenage ladettes. I’m very pleased that I held back and didn’t do any real damage but I bet that young lady’s head is still spinning – do NOT mess with Granny, she doesn’t like it. She especially doesn’t like people messing with her Old Feller.
No, I shan’t be going for coffee there again.