When “frugal” becomes “spew-gal”

 

WARNING – readers of a nervous disposition may find this post distasteful. No sex, nudity or rude words but…

I was brought up with the worthy Scottish principle of “frugality”. My Granny and my mother used to repeat “Wilful waste makes woeful want” and then launch into a maudlin poem.

So I’ve been conditioned to cut out the bad bits of fruit and veg, using the still-consumable portions. Make do and mend. Save the buttons of moth-eaten cardigans.

Well it got up and bit me in the bum tonight. A piece of cheese that had some rather unsavoury looking edges was pressed into service for supper as part of the salad. I dutifully chopped away the sides and then realised that some of the rind was making its way to the edge of the chopping board. Maggots.

I want you to imagine this in a sit-com episode complete with screaming, retching sounds and probably someone standing on a chair. I calmed him down. I used to be a vet nurse and have had to deal with fly-blown critters before. Maggots are actually rather useful if properly used but that is a different matter and I won’t make you feel any more queasy.

With scrupulous care, I cleaned up the area while my husband pointed with a knife “There’s another one, he’s getting away!” I fully expected him to start attacking them by blade. A maggot-hunt wasn’t what I had planned for this evening but it was an amusing diversion…right up to the moment when I discovered that the Christopher Columbus of the pre-fly larvae had escaped, right into my salad.

OK, I admit it, I just threw the rest in the bin. There are limits. Even for ex vet nurses, even for frugal Scots. I’ll pig out on ice cream instead.

yum yum yum
yum yum yum

10 thoughts on “When “frugal” becomes “spew-gal”

  1. Lol…I won’t show this to my kids…one of them phoned me the other day, whilst preparing food when I was out, as the cheese had gained mouldy edges. My response of “Cut it off and eat the rest.” was met with a retching sound… Wait til they have to buy their own food, then they won’t want to waste it, I hope!

  2. There’s a great line in one episode of the Muppetts where Gonzo’s act is a group of singing mushrooms. He explains that they grew on food in his fridge and by the time he found them they were “too cute to throw out”

    Cheers

    MTM

  3. OMG, I had a big grin on my face all the way through this post. Now, I’m not what I would consider a tough gal, nor am I fond of maggots, however, as a sister animal-caregiver/rescuer, I’ve witnessed a fair share of Icky Stuff. I think what I loved the most, though, was that my husband reacts in a similar fashion to yours; in fact, last year I had scooped out some organic popcorn kernels from a bin at the store and put them in our pantry — well, sure enough, about a week later, DH went to pour some kernels into the hot air popper and started yelling “there’s worms in this!” LOL He now refuses to eat organic popcorn. Go figure. 😉 (BTW, I found your blog by popping over here from Viv Tuffnell’s blog.)

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