Today was good fun. It was Take your Daughter to Work Day but my mummy doesn’t work and my daddy is dead, so I was very sad. So Mummy talked to Granny lady wot live next door and she “persuaded” her son, Uncle Chris, (wot isn’t my uncle but is allowed to talk to me cos not a “strange man like wot I am not sposed to talk to) …to take me to work with him.
(I know she “persuaded him cos I hearded her for hours the night before!) I was very cited but he seemed a bit sad so I sang him songs in the car all the way to work to cheer him up.
After that is was great fun cos Uncle Chris work in a office and I found out he is IMPOTENT. So I marched about telling everyone “Hello, Uncle Chris is not my Daddy but he is impotent!” He went funny colour and ran after me explaining I was only six. His work is very secret so I can’t say anything about it and it wasn’t very interesting.
It stopped being interesting when he had a meeting. I crawled under desk and unplugged all the phones and made Brazilian bracelets out of the pretty leads. That were fun until phones were ringing and nobody knew which phone on whose desk so I just crawled away and hid.
Under Uncle Chris’ desk were lots of laptops so I thought I be helpful little (instead of lucking fittle devil, like wot Mummy call me) and I got my small size Swiss Army knife wot I swapped with Bobby for his sister’s Barbie wot I held hostage. I unscrewded all the backs and piled the bits up in nice piles, all the same bits in the same piles then Uncle Chris looked under the desk and made a funny noise.
After that he took me to canteen and I met lots of other littles and we made a gang and spent the afternoon playing ninja littles in the lifts. That was fun until we got it stuck between two floors and one silly gurl wet herself and cried. I wanted to climb out of ventilashun shaft like in Die Hard but they got Uncle Chris on the microphone to say “I will talk to your Mummy if you do that, you are NOT a Ninja Little, you are a very bad girl.”
I don’t know.
Tried to join in. Tried to help. On the way home I asked if we could do it every day and Uncle Chris said a rude word. But maybe next year. Next year they will have forgotten that I kept picking up his phone when it rang and saying “This is Uncle Chris phone and I am his Sexy Terri and he is impotent and busy. Go away”
Maybe… think they will?