Insurance claim…

(photo courtesy of

I work in the offices of a very well-known insurance company and we are used to receiving hilarious excuses for car crashes but this one had us in fits. It beats the “bus stop hidden by pedestrians” and “admitted it was his fault as he’d been run over before”….

Dear Brian

(yes, our publicity robot gets all the fan mail these days)

Please find enclosed a photo to explain the claim form attached. As you will know, we have been clients of XXXXXX for many years now and had a very hefty no claims bonus.

Yesterday we were travelling along the A38 to visit my wife’s mother, as we usually do at this time of the year, behind a removal van. I don’t mean that we always travel behind a removals van but in this instance we were.

My wife was looking in the back to find the Thermos of tea which she always makes to ensure we don’t have to stop as those roadside “ye olde tea shoppe”s are very expensive, so she was unaware of what happened next.

The back door of the removal van flew open as it changed gear to tackle the steep hill up to Okehampton and suddenly an oven hit the front of my car. While braking, unable to see, my wife threw scalding hot tea all down the back of my neck and we veered off the road with the oven still embedded in our bonnet.

You will notice that I am claiming for burns injury. My wife’s cracked rib was caused by her falling out of the car laughing at my predicament.

I do hope you will be able to handle this claim rapidly, Brian and may I say “Wheeeee” to you, as we very much enjoy your television advertisements?


PS – Please find a photo that a passing policeman thoughtfully took for us as he said it would “have them in fits down the nick”
Suddenly oven

9 thoughts on “Insurance claim…

  1. What a hoot!

    In a previous existence I had an office job which involved (amongst other things) translating the company drivers’ accident reports into versions which would be acceptable to the insurance company. These usually fell somewhere between illiterate and illegible, and hence were rather hard work. But one guy did a wonderful job of reporting a multi-car collision in which he was following another car, which in turn was following a learner, who suddenly slammed on the brakes when a dog ran out into the road. The driver behind the learner managed to brake in time, as did our driver and the driver who was following him. The next one wasn’t so fortunate – and shunted all four cars in front of him into one unholy mess (though fortunately nobody was hurt). This driver then got out of his car, surveyed the carnage he had caused, and said resignedly, “Well, that’s cocked up my No Claims Bonus…”

  2. Marvellous!I must admit to driving up a hill behind a van with half a fridge hanging out (it was admittedly tied inside to… not sure what) and worrying I might end up with a fridge as decoration so I kept driving slower and slower and leaving more space in between just in case…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.