May have told you before but our Fire Brigade also serve the function of the Ambulance crew. This means that you get millions of the buggers when you phone up.
Unfortunately they are all issued with Stanley knives which they cannot wait to use. So far my motorbike accident has cost me (apart from physical ones) one pair of jeans, a decent pair of boots, a denim jacket and my pretty backpack. I can imagine them all whipping out their sharpies to get rid of my blood, oil and wee-wee soaked articles.
I have no idea which bit of metal went in through my chest and pierced my spleen but I bet that wasn’t cut out! I’m not complaining – they are lovely boys and all came to see me in hospital. They were delighted. I had been their finest hour in ages – so OK I’m not some hottie totty but someone who does handstands over their handlebars … and I was there, mate, I tell you, we had to cut away all her clothes!………. they will dine out on it for weeks!