I like funerals. People get to say nice things about the deceased without getting embarrassed and it’s all huggy.
Last night I dreamed of my own, as I have planned it on a lochside, with a longship, masses of brushwood and my bike laid on it. All of you FB mob were there and I thought -oh how lovely, they all made it!!!! MUST have cost them a fortune!!!!
Final guest was Cap’n Jack Sparrow who looked at my bandana and tutted. He took off his tricorn and swapped it for my gold nose ring, making the joke he’d clean the bloody thing before sticking it in his ear. We all laughed. Everyone rolled up their trousers, pushed the boat out into the water and splashed petrol on it. Then it was Hi Ho Big Explosion and away I went …………..
Thanks everyone for turning out for me, for telling the truth, for saying what a nut job I was but how much you loved me and how utterly impossible I could be (and that was on a good day). I woke up really happy this morning and could walk. I went for a long stroll down by the river without my stick and said “au revoir” to the trees who are taking their leave til next Spring xxx