Author, blogger, international criminal

Some of you may remember that we got into a “contretemps” with three young ladies of the travelling persuasion some time ago in a supermarket car park.

I’ve just got back from the local gendarmerie with my fingerprints, DNA and mug-shots on record. Why? Because the whole thing was captured on CCTV.

I believed I was leaping to the defence of my ancient and diabetic husband who also has a heart condition. He claimed that their car had run over his foot and was screaming blue murder. One of the young ladies leapt from the car, spat on him and would have kicked the living daylights out of his shins if he hadn’t grabbed her wrists and held her at arm’s length.

Today I watched the TV footage and found out that far from being the heroic loyal wifely-type critter, I am the original fool who rushes in while angels are still giving it mature consideration.  The car didn’t run over his foot, it passed too close to him and in a fit of indignation, Badger booted the side of it. That explains why the passenger leapt out to express her righteous anger.

Having been some distance away, I could only believe that his howl was one of anguish. So the scuffle that ensued while I tried to separate them,  the elbow to the face that I received and returned, the onlookers who took sides etc… were all based on a slightly elastic interpretation of the truth.

My mortification was complete, not helped at all by the gendarmes telling me that it wasn’t the end of the world and those families had records thicker than the Doomsday book … I didn’t and I wasn’t planning on having one.

We shan’t have to go before a court but there is a possibility of us being fined for assault in a public place (not causing physical damage, thanks be!) but I’m assured that we SHOULDN’T have to go to prison. Oh good, that makes me feel a lot better – stripes are so fattening, aren’t they? prisoner


9 thoughts on “Author, blogger, international criminal

  1. I was waiting to hear what had happened after your Tweets…And men then say we exaggerate and are drama queens…Pilchards and custard sounds too nice…! I’m pleased no striped thought, even if they are fairly French….

  2. In fairness it wouldn’t have happened had she not driven so close to him, close enough to worry him and for him to react. I take it he doesn’t randomly kick out at cars? Maybe the case can be dismissed for her dangerous driving instead?
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    1. Well – he is subject to fits of indignant anger … should have thought about that but, it’s all done now so I will just reflect more if a similar situation happens. I will also leave my white charger in the stable until I’m sure of the facts!

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