Normal service will…

…probably not be resumed.

As those of you who follow me on FB will know, my visit to the GP yesterday was useful. I now understand that the exhaustion I’ve been experiencing over the past few months is a result of my long coma and I can’t expect it to go away. This is as good as it gets. I’m stuck with something very similar to ME / CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). Fortunately I know my body very well, have been  through umpteen operations and accidents so have a pretty fair idea how long I take to recover from trauma. This was taking far too long so I knew there was something else wrong.

No, this is NOT bad news. It is a huge relief. Waking up every day, still tired, and wondering if I’ll feel better tomorrow is mighty dispiriting. Knowing that I have just one more thing that is for life is not.

My Bipolar condition is permanent, my scoliosis will never improve and my deafness is increasing.  I have four aces in my hand!

There are several ways to treat barriers. One can accept them and walk away (in this case that means lying down and becoming a bed-ridden burden – no way!) One can charge head-on to demolish them but that  usually takes more effort than it is worth. Or one can use them as a climbing frame and wriggle around or through…which is exactly what I am doing with my CFS.

Life has to change. Some activities will be curtailed. I sat down last night and drew up a daily schedule, marking in rest-periods but making sure I get out in the fresh air because a trot about with Lily communing with Nature is essential to me.

My time spent on social media might drop but the Bingergread Cottage will continue. I will fit it in with slots I have allocated for “proper” writing, ie my WIPs. As I saw on a T shirt about one of my other ailments:

“Bipolar Sucks! But it isn’t the end of the World”

Nor is CFS!

L and me cropped
and I still have Lily!



12 thoughts on “Normal service will…

  1. Your attitude is wonderful. I do understand what you’re saying – I’ve had to learn to manage my fibromyalgia, PTSD and a few other charmers – and you’re quite right, using them as a climbing frame is a good strategy. Thanks for your wonderful, warm, honest writing – it is a gift to us all. xxx

  2. You’re very wise to listen to your body. You’re really generous with the time you give to other authors. I’m sure being out and about with Lily will do you the world of good.

  3. It was wise of you to draw up a new schedule to fit your new life style, Ailsa. We’re all different and have to do the best we can with our abilities as well as our problems. Just giving up, as you say, cannot be an option. We have to face the challenge and go on. You are doing it so well. All the best to you and yours. 🙂 — Suzanne

  4. ‘Or one can use them as a climbing frame and wriggle around or through…which is exactly what I am doing with my CFS.’ Excellently put, Ailsa, and the only way forward as I discovered through simple pig-headedness! Take it easy. 😀

  5. Thanks all. It’s one of the rare examples of me being “organized”. The phrase you all liked came from my time teaching assault courses – nobody said you had to go OVER it, just get to the end. Well that’s what I’m doing – wriggling, crawling and jumping over puddles. We’ll manage! xxxx

  6. You go girl! I had CFS for a decade, which strangely pretty much left me with my second pregnancy…but I do know my body and its limits, both physically and mentally, and that helps. You know what you can and can’t do, you’ve been managing bipolar for years, so keep at it, we’re all here for support and love!

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