Every so often it does a body good to shake it all up and see where it falls down, rather like having a damn good clear out in the house or on social media. No mistakes – I’m not a faddist and don’t get into doing things because some celebrity or other has decided that eating mud makes your skin beautiful or stilt-walking improves your posture. I tend to listen to my body and then have a chat with it.

Makes you happy?
Makes you happy?

Things have been going wrong recently. No I mean much more than just Bipolar, Scoliosis, deaf-bat wrong. I can only blame everything on my two accidents (end of 2013 and mid 2014) for so long. The list of “wrongs” is too depressing to go into so I went for a walk and chatted with some ducks. They are always good to have a natter with because if nothing else they answer and make you smile. A very vocal Mallard did a wonderful

.. and sad?
.. and sad?

demonstration of “what makes you happy?” then tried to stick his beak up his bum which I took to be “and what makes you sad?”

Coming home I found a newspaper article that underlined that age plays a huge part in vegetarianism and that many of my symptoms were in line with it. One of my problems is living in a country where substitutes are not available and being averse to making every meal with “first soak your beans or lentils” we are a bit stuck. I am prescribed supplements til I rattle when they are mixed with all the other medication I have to take so………….. OK after a few years of thinking only of the animals I’m going to try eating meat again. Not every day but sometimes, just to see………

I also took the magical Champix to stop smoking. Ahem. Yes, well, it does say on the packet that it can induce suicidal thoughts or depression so that probably WAS one of the starters. Ferkkit I just lit a ciggie and I feel FINE! Next time I’ll stick to the hypnosis CDs.

soins intensifI don’t really care about my looks but how I feel is important so I’m changing for a while to see how that works out. Stay tuned for news. I’m convinced that being this depressed most of the time is not good for me and last time I felt this bad it was another visit to intensive care and hello stomach-pump my old friend.



Please note that I have also removed a post on this blog which caused someone who had been a friend to block me. I have apologised but this, it appears, is all that will do. OK – it’s gone. Your go, sweetie!

And now – my favourite version of this song which you may not have heard… 

13 thoughts on “A-changing

  1. Go, Ailsa. You are a lady of action and willing to face your demons – would do us all good to be able to do that at sometime or another. I’m trying to get myself motivated at this moment in time but keep slipping back – going to be more determined from NOW! xx

    1. Thanks, Christine. Yes, most living things give better advice than humans. If I don’t face the demons they will get the better of me. They’ve done it before and I won’t let them win again. Change if needed will happen xxx

  2. Courage, ma brave! Time to put your own needs first – if you need to change your diet for the sake of your health, then maybe this is the time to do so. And, as one of your characters in Alchemy said, thank the creature for giving its life.

  3. There are days when I cannot cope with feeling depressed all the time, so I usally go for a walk, look at some trees and generally play hooky from my life.
    Sometimes this works, but sometimes I just want to keep on walking. Away…

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