It’s no secret that I’ve been going through some fairly major black dog visits recently and we seem to have dragged each other to a crossroads. So I’m standing here with Bippy the Black dog obediently at my feet looking at the signposts.
The trouble is I wrote several books in quick succession which met with reasonable success. I haven’t run out of ideas. Far from it, I have sequels lined up and a completely different genre forming an orderly queue. No, the two problems I face are my brain, the physical, co-ordination side of it and social media.
Since my stroke and my coma after the motorbike accident I have found it nearly impossible to write more than a short article. The ideas are there but getting the words onto the screen is painful. I have tried dictation aps but they are American and turn my BBC English into a mangled form of what I was trying to say. It is actually quicker to cope with the migraine and continue typing. Will I ever be able to write again? Can I still consider myself an author?
I only joined social media when I was published as I was advised it was vital. I’ve made some wonderful friends on there but it is a minefield. One person is making life awkward for me and for friends. I can’t read his posts but can see their replies. I have to say “What did X say?” This is stupid especially as I have removed the blog post to which he took offence, apologized profusely, never named him, sent apologies through friends and generally bent over backwards to make amends. I remain firmly blocked by him. I have emailed til I’m blue in the face!
So you’re all going to say “oh just ignore him” which would be easy if he weren’t with the same publishers as me. We have dozens of mutual friends who I don’t want to drag into this mess. Anything he posts on our publisher’s page is invisible – sorry, what did X say?
I’m going away next Wednesday morning. I have a couple of weeks with my beloved aunt in Scotland and then a conference in London where I’m helping as a volunteer. This will give me time out to have a very long think about what I really need to do in my life. Should I keep banging my head on a brick wall both with this other author (no I WON’T name him ever) and with my own writing. Would I be better just walking away from the lot of it?
Nearly three weeks away from FB will give me time to decide. I may close my account temporarily anyway. Waiting in the wings are two more books in the Alchemy series, more anecdotes from my travelling life and general chaos plus one I was asked to write on the subject of herbs and healing. Lot to think about.