Disaster stages

Firstly may I apologise to anyone who was alarmed by my sudden announcement on FB that I was retiring to digest some bad news on my health situation.

Secondly, I am reminded of the old saying that no experience, no matter how bad, is wasted, if one learns something from it. Lessons learned hard are learned well. An old Buddhist saying is “one learns far more from one’s enemies than from one’s friends.”

So my post on FB was a first reaction and that led me to thinking about this subject. OK so I had some bad news about my health into which I won’t go because people parading their patients’ notes in front of the world is boring! Let’s just say that I felt I’d been punched in the stomach, either the bottom fell out of my world or the world fell out of my bottom – they feel exactly the same.

disasterSo my reaction was Tabloid headline – Major Disaster – Ailsa is going to die! Well that is pretty silly (as are most tabloid headlines) because everyone is going to die.

Now let’s go through the stages that one goes through with bad news. First – shock horror! Maximum impact and no thought. Reel away holding the head and over-acting like a real pro. If you are like me and tend to go to the “worst case scenario” first, you sit down and imagine how much worse this can get. In the case of death, not much. Of course with health, one goes through all the awful situations of complete dependence, bottom-wiping and helplessness.

If we have any modicum of common sense, we do what I did. Walk away. Take time out. Don’t talk about it even to close friends. Have a long time to get a perspective on it. Stand on the mountain top and look down on the “shock horror” you first read. How bad is it? Truthfully?

Gradually one starts to break it down into manageable mouthfuls. OK so if I can’t do this, I can probably do that. If my time is limited I know I have time to get my affairs in order and leave things straight. That will be a nice thing to do for my family and I can pack my bags for the trip knowing I’m not leaving the kitchen table a mess of breadcrumbs.

This bite-downsizing continues until the whole thing is completely in perspective and then comes – a degree of acceptance.Zen monkeyOnly at that point can one start to talk to people about it without raving and ranting, bringing them to the verge of suicide too!

I’d like to thank this for happening because it has helped me sort my head out. Yes, initially I thought I was going even more mad but I have ended up more calm and collected. If one can achieve this state of acceptance this infers that a solution is half way achieved. In this case my symptoms are being treated which is the only thing that can be done, there is no cure. The greatest fear is the fear of the unknown and having a handle (name) to put on something disarms it somewhat.

Don’t ask, I’m not saying but I think I’m as well recovered from all my accidents and operations as I am going to be – it is downhill from here. I can take that. I will cut my coat to suit my cloth and if you want me to, I’ll make you a scarf too xxxx


22 thoughts on “Disaster stages

  1. Not being a fan of Facebook means I haven’t seen your announcement Ailsa. That means I’m just getting the second stage part- acceptance- with all the rationality it brings. I ‘m so sorry to hear the news but hope like heck there’s a third stage which is to fight this any way you can. No doubt you have the spirit of many medicine men to help you as well as the positive thoughts of all your followers to whom you’re precious.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  2. So sorry to hear that you are not getting away scot free from all your disasters, but knowing you, you won’t give in without one hell of a fight. We are in the middle of something similar with our Jaye at the moment and until the dust settles, we have no idea what will happen next. Good job there is a warrior in most of us!

  3. Be at peace with yourself, yes. Discover a new level of understanding, yes……………BUT………..accept nothing easily and fight everything passionately….’cos you’re one feisty female with a mind as sharp as her wit an’ the mind is such a powerful tool…..(seems I lost mine a while ago)… 😉 (((hugs))) n’ luvs xxx

  4. There are no words except masses of love and support. All in double vision it might amuse you to know as I’ve just had a cataract op! Hugs and kisses in the extreme as well as a huge dollop of strength. xx

  5. What is is. You know that you are loved, you are cherished, you make me and others including furbabies smile. In this world, those are great accomplishments and we both know as long as you are capable, you will continue doing what you do. I love you, Otter

  6. Thanks all – oh yes, acceptance is a stage of dealing with the problem when first encountering it. After that comes coping strategy which includes fighting it without wiping myself out.
    You all know me too well. I don’t give up without a fight but then I also go prepared xxx

  7. I’m another one who missed the FB announcement. I’ve been having Google server problems. I would have been very surprised if you didn’t intend to fight after the acceptance, Ailsa. I’m so glad to hear you’re going to fight and do what you can. I’m sure we’re all with you in this. Well done.

  8. I don’t know how I’ve missed all this on Facebook, Ailsa, as I see most of your posts. At least, I think I do, although you can never be too sure with Facebook. I’m completely shocked. You’ve fought your way through so many things, and I can’t believe you’ll “go gently into that good night”. Whatever happens, you have been and continue to be an inspiration to so many of us. Sending you so much love and good wishes xxx

    1. Bless you, Sharon- I’m not an inspiration, more of a perfect example of how not to do it! A Koshare. Yes I’ve brought a lot of bad onto me and I can’t complain if there are ramifications, I’ve done bloody well to get this far – most of my family did not make old bones and some of them were very careful.
      Whatever happens I’ll just keep fooling around and hoping I make you all giggle. It’s my only gift – wasn’t in The Lord of the Rings, but should have been – Otter, The Giggle-Bringer. xxx

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