Welcome back to our discussion on the possible causes of ME / CFS and our experiences of it. Sarah Waldock continues ….
How does it affect me after 30+ years? well, I’ve learned what I can do, and what I am going to pay for doing. I can do short bursts of high energy, for a couple of hours at a time, but then have to collapse on the sofa for 3 days. I’m not entirely sure what my natural level is, I’m still stabilising after 2 years as a carer to my bedridden mother, and this is one time when an iffy memory is actually good because most of the time is a blur. If there is a hell, it involves having to stick to a set schedule when you are permanently knackered and in pain.
My mental state is certainly much better these days, I can usually force myself out of depression by writing. If I wasn’t unwell as well, I’d take a brisk walk but whichever way you go out of our house is uphill except into town. But writing is my way of handling the traumas of life. And to be honest, I write the most amusing parts of my work when I’m depressed, so it has an up side. I think that comedians, who often suffer depression, say the same thing of their material. And having a memory helps as well, and not forgetting words like ‘house’ or ‘dressing gown’ even
Snap! The Tony Hancock syndrome – my own mother used to say the harder I was laughing, the harder I was hurting and I do have the reputation of “class clown” wherever I am. I agree – knowing that two days of “getting things done” is going to end up with me in bed for the day is depressing which makes things worse. I have, however, recently freed myself of GUILT. It is what it is – accept it. Guilt just makes me more depressed and worse. RESULT!
when able to otherwise manage egregiously prolixic logorhoea. I don’t have aphasia as often. Sometimes I find myself saying something like “Oh, I must go and turn of the … the thingy!” [oven] as I did today when I was overtired.
I do that but bilingually – many of my conversations with Badger take place through the medium of modern dance or mime.
Physically? well between the rheumatism, sciatica and myalgia, how much is ME and how much is Anno Domini, I wouldn’t like to guess. But I do tire quicker than I should, and some days I really don’t want to get out of bed.
Shake hands – my scoliosis seems to play ring a roses with the Bipolar and CFS/ME. What an Unholy Trinity they are!
Sarah it has been fabulous to have you over and such a great conversation which I know will interest many – please feel free to re-blog this or open a debate somewhere else where we can all join