The BOWIES

Welcome to the presentation of this year’s BOWIE awards. Nanny Ab invented them and they are the Best Of / Worst in Europe which she will chose according to her own tastes. As you can see – she isn’t impressed this year!

me-n-bob
Gorra new titfer!

After this disaster of a holiday she has no hesitation in presenting the Best Of BOWIE award to Sue Barnard and her husband Bob. They saved what could have been a nightmare and turned it into a not-quite Midsummer Night’s Dream.

sisters
Sisters? Well, soul-sisters anyway!

Sue and Ailsa are besties, fellow-Crooked Cat authors and Sue the editor I’d most like to work with apart from Stephanie Patterson. Sue and Bob’s presence for dinner then lunch the following day sprinkled a few shovelfuls of oofle dust over the proceedings and joyous laughter ensued, as you can see.

I needed it. Having travelled all over Europe from Estonia to Portugal in 20 years, we had arrived at Nanny Ab’s Worst in Europe ever campsite.

hellhole
Warning – Danger to Health

As far as CBA (Can’t Be Arsed) is concerned, the management in Camping Théâtre Romain win a special prize of their very own.

I was physically assaulted and injured by an elderly Belgian who I would imagine will go on to kill someone one day if he doesn’t get anger-management therapy. He hit me purely because I was asking him to be patient for two minutes while the camping car was reversed into its space. Making placatory gestures and saying “Patience please, Sir, calm down, we are all on holiday.” got me nowhere. He grabbed my calming hand, twisted it painfully then hit it, Giving me a nasty sprain on the thumb joint which backed-up to my elbow.

I figured that the management ought to know about this so hied me off to the office. When told, the manager instantly knew who I meant so that gave me a clue that this belligerent Belgian had already caused trouble. However, when said old fart came in to continue ranting, raving and offering me yet more physical violence, nothing was done. The manager was obviously in fear of the old git and just said “We’ll say no more, eh?”

Well I bloody well will. I am a writer with access to a world of media with which to make his campsite’s name mud (I’m being polite). I’ve already written to the Tourism Office for the area saying how sorry we are not to be able to go back to their region for fear of our safety. I’ll take it from there when I get home but if you feel moved to…. please do share this article.

Only vast negative publicity will make them change their attitude. That and a drop in visitor numbers next year. Thank you.


7 thoughts on “The BOWIES

    1. He was very lucky. I think the heart attack will be better than me beating him senseless which is what I was tempted to do. That would make me no better than him. But black candles have been lighted all over the world!

    1. I’m OK thanks,David,more furious than hurt although the paw is still a bit sore. I’ll see my own doctor tomorrow and determine if there is any real damage. If there is I will sue the campsite. I have the bit between my teeth on this one.

  1. I was laughing when I saw the angry Bowie pic but not when I read I read about the belligerent Belgian. I’m used to French speakers being rude but to physically assault you? That’s beyond the pale. Sounds like that campground is worthy of its name. Three thumbs down!

    1. Thanks, Mel – the daft thing is I AM a French speaker, I’m naturalised French and even corrected the Belge for calling me “tu”. These things happen. Most of the folks I meet are lovely people who play nicely. I have to remember he was an exception and kill him in my next book. haahhhaah

      1. Ha, ha….writing well is the best revenge (at least in my book!). Don’t know how I zapped the fact that you live in France and speak the lingo. Clearly the guy was bonkers! 🙂

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