I get a lot of inspiration from FB and this week it has all been on the above theme. I think I shocked a few people when I answered one of those silly questionnaires which included:
How many pregnancies ? (in my case 3) and How many children? (none)
Most people know I have no kids but didn’t know about my foray into IVF, not something I would advise people to enter into lightly because it is painful and heartbreaking when it doesn’t work. However, my maternal time bomb was ticking and having suffered problems “down below” all my life it was the only answer.
So three viable embryos were implanted but none “took”. Yes I was upset. I worried about three wee souls drifting around wondering where their mummy was. I hope they stayed together and finally went to good homes. I also donated more viable eggs for other women to use so maybe someone is a mother out there who wouldn’t have been without my donation.
You will also know that I find something good in most things and I suddenly felt liberated. The thought struck me – if I am not to have children of my own, a limited number to worry about, then I am free to be everyone’s mum!
I can now adopt any waif or stray I like – they are mine, the gods gave them to me. My babies. I adopt people but mainly adults because grown-ups who are in need of mother-love are damaged and need careful handling. Sometimes I can give them back the childhood they wish they had experienced. Sometimes just reading them a story, turning the book to show the pictures is a huge relief to both of us. Whatever! I’ll do it because I’m their pretend mum.
Family is love, not blood ties. Of that I am sure and certain.