All my life I had felt disadvantaged, alien, as if I were staring in at humanity through a pane of glass, isolated and only pretending to understand or join in.
You’ll imagine my self-disgust when I discovered that it wasn’t a feeling…I really WAS behind a pane of glass, watching, waving but not participating.
Spending my usual amount of time on reflection and fore-thought, I drew back my elbow and then let fly, breaking the glass, smashing a face-sized hole in it. Finally I could poke my nose through and peer at what I had only ever seen through it. I could smell Life. Sounds I had only imagined I was hearing finally made their way through to my brain.
My heart leaped within me at the thought of enlarging the hole, climbing through and finally participating in life completely. Finally being able to speak to other people real face to real face…touch being genuine touch, sight being clear…but of course there was a price. There always is. The glass had been easy to smash with my hand-knit covered elbow but now it was like solid iron. If I wanted to make the hole bigger it would rip my hands to pieces.
I could go through and out into the real world…but at what cost? My life? Would I do it?