What you doing, Ginger? Why my hand? OK I cuddle you – no? Tickle chin? Scratch top of head? Well what DO you want???? Keep pushing my hand on my computer. Normally you push my hand where you want tickled. Want to see your pictures? Read something? Oh OK I haven’t been online for ages – not had time. Oh – Ooooo – you clever pair you and Piston have written a blog piece. Did Lily help you?
Well, here I am back again and giving you all an update report on what is happening in the Bingergread Cottage. I am taking up my foils against an old adversary with whom I fenced years ago – Count Stroek Van Haemorage. He is an archetypal fencing baddie so you can picture him, I won’t bother with a description.
Foils raised to the salute! En garde!
So Herr Graf – we meet again. You never attack me directly, do you?
Nein, naturlich. It hurts more to touch one you love. You see them suffer AND you have to care for them. Double win to me! (Salute and heel click)
(Slight flick of foil in recognition) I know your tricks though, Baron. You cannot surprise me again. I am aware that you can change a person’s character completely in a stroke (polite titter from audience)
Ja, Frau Hexe. But you forget that in doing that with your mother I rendered you a great service.
(courteous half- bow in acknowledgement0
True. But that was too obvious. Changing her from “obnoxious” to someone that people described as “so amiable” was just too tempting, wasn’t it? But did you have to turn my four-score years’ husband to a toddler? That was truly cruel.
Ach, I only exaggerated his usual characteristics!
True. But so far?? What have I ever done to you that you land me, a sworn childless, with a toddler who has food fads, throws tantrums and demands what he wants NOW?
But I have saved other surprises for you.
Stop! I beg you. I am becoming used to his tastes having changed diametrically so I don’t know what to offer him but why? I would happily go through all this myself!
Tip of foil under my chin, making me look upwards.
This, Frau Hexe, is your Hell. You were granted a blessing. When you die you will go where you wish with no expiation to serve. You are doing it here.
Epee hits floor as I kneel.
I can go directly to Narnia?
Ja, meine Geliebte – all your penance has been served here. Aslan will await you when you close your eyes.
Resolves to accept whatever comes and trust in Fate.