Facepalm!

Will I ever listen to my own advice?  

I have repeatedly written here and said in conversation that inspiration comes from ANY source and all that is needed is to put the request out into the Universe and the answer will come…from somewhere, somehow.

I have not been on line much recently after a rather nasty experience with a pair of tough cookies on FB which left me very sad even after I had blocked them. Why are people surprised that I play to the gallery? I was born a show-off, went to Drama College and acted professionally for a while – it is in my blood. Even having admitted that, I find it very hurtful when people call me an attention-seeker and would prefer the adjective melodramatic or theatrical.

So I have been depressed for a while and  you all know that I won’t use anti social media as a means of making everyone else miserable. I shut up and go into my shell until it goes away. Obviously I have been sending out help signals to Outer Space all this time as it came to me at one o’clock in the morning. One of my original inspirations, total hero and worshipped human beings was speaking to me on the radio. Gerald Durrell I read when I was very young and he helped me to realise I was not the only person in the world who thought of themselves on the same level as any other animal.

While I have read all his books, been to Jersey and visited his Conservation Centre, I knew of his childhood only what was contained in My Family and Other Animals.  I feel as if Gerry had come back, kicked me in the backside and bellowed down my ear to pull myself together. How far would he have got in his chosen life if he had done what other people wanted him to do? Did he allow others to take over his existence? No and neither should I!

Given my situation at the moment, my cancer-ridden and stroke recovering husband has to have a certain measure of my attention. Of course. But he is not to rule my life or take it away from me. It is vital that I keep some of myself back, some of my own interests and loves because I will have a life after him. His needs seen to, I must make sure I do the things that give me immense pleasure – including riding my motorbike and rescuing every animal in need who finds my door.

And those who don’t like it? Well they can stuff their heads in a painful place and whistle Dixie because I’m not listening any more. I have too much to do to let others hurt and misdirect me. Thank you

 


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